Every December I conduct a personal assessment. It takes me about one minute to complete. I simply ask myself one question. “Am I in the same place (mentally, spiritually, physically, etc.) as last year?” For years, I believed I received the same answer. YES! By my own perception, I was not making any significant strides towards where I really wanted to be in my life. There were so many things I wanted to do! And they still seemed undone! I saw a totally different person when I closed my eyes and envisioned myself than what appeared on the outside. “I will not be in this place next year!”, I would vow to myself every December 31. I would make my plans, resolutions, and lists, but yet another year would go by and what I deemed to be the “real me” was still locked on the “inside”. Or so it appeared…Last month, I conducted my assessment. It took me about one minute to complete. I simply asked myself one question. “Am I in the same place as last year?” This time, the answer was NO! What happened? By my own perception, I grew. In 2009, I faced more fears “head on” than ever. I put into practice the wisdom from all those books I had read throughout the years. I remembered more that I am not my ego (that part of you that believes it is separate from God). I challenged my thinking more. I made meditation and time with God an even greater priority. I surrounded myself with like-minded people. I allowed in more miracles by staying in the “now”. I followed my inner guidance. I laughed more. I trusted the process. And I also recognized more of my own faults, shortcomings and self-imposed limitations. All of this resulted in more of the “real me” coming through.
But what a good friend helped me to realize is that the process was taking place even in those years when I did not perceive any growth with my physical eyes. Years ago, I had asked God to help me find my purpose. This request activated a process of being open and willing to be taught, which is key. Though many twists, turns, ups and downs, and perceived setbacks challenged the fact that I was really on the right path, the truth is that I was exactly where I belonged and learning the lessons that would prepare me for my future! I was on course for destiny to manifest itself under grace, divinely timed, and in perfect ways.
The Bible states that “for everything there is a season”. Those years of perceived “stunted growth” were really a time of sowing. When I look back, I remember all the books I read on HOW to face fear, how many teachers poured wisdom into me and taught me about meditation, the skills I unexpectedly acquired, all the “study sessions” learning about miracles, prophesies given via chance encounters, dreams that helped me challenge my thinking, etc. Those days and encounters served as a preparation period for what was to come in a different season. If I had not experienced a time of sowing “seeds”, there would be no harvest time.
So what really happened in 2009 for me was a growth spurt. The seeds that were planted years ago began to come up. I realize now that every relationship, situation, challenge, etc. that I faced was a gift; an invitation to learn more about who I really am and who I really AM NOT. And these important occurrences had to take place to transform the spirit before the physical manifestation could come to pass. In other words, the real work was happening all the time; even if I could not perceive it with my body’s eyes.
If you are reading this post, it is not by accident. YOU have come much further than you think. Do not gage your growth with your physical eyes. You will be mistaken! You have grown tremendously in spirit. IF in fact, you have asked God to help you, you have activated something very powerful. Now, begin to trust the process and listen for guidance. Don’t get me wrong…prepare to the best of your ability and act when you are directed to act, but do not judge your progress with your physical senses or compare yourself with others. There is no competition. Stop beating yourself up. You are right on time.
I’ll bet if you look a little bit closer, you’ll see signs of progress. Maybe your attitude is just a little different. Maybe instead of blowing up at your spouse every day, it’s every OTHER day! Maybe you didn’t “slap the taste out of the mouth” of the rude clerk at the grocery store like you would have LAST YEAR. Or maybe you just paused for one moment to appreciate the sunset when it had previously gone unnoticed. Look closer. Trust the process. Trust God.
I am looking forward to 2010 and tackling those areas where I see strongholds and/or fears in my life. Even as you read this, another fear is being overcome. This year, it is my intention to write more AND give others the opportunity to promote their writings/books using this platform. With every story of hope, encouragement, or inspiration posted, it is my prayer that we all Become Light!
And this year, in December, I’ll conduct a little assessment. It will take me about one minute to complete. I’ll ask myself, “Am I in the same place I was last year?” But this time, I already know what my answer will be: “I’m exactly where I belong. Thank you God.”
